Laptop? How quaint. But my implant that connects me to the Musk Hivemind can project a laptop into my visual cortex to approximate a laptop, though in 2054 the most popular interface is similar to the dildocycle that Mr. Garrison invented on episode 76 of South Park.

This was Dubyah trying to quote the old saying that starts “fool me once, shame on you…”. I used to think HE was dumb, now we have people in office that make him look like a Rhodes Scholar.

First you have to be a little light in the loafers. jk, jk

Affordance? I’ve heard of it when talking about tools or utensils that are universally usable.

Maybe she’s a closeted homosexual with a poo poo fetish. I’d ask the cunt outright if she was just to shut her up. It’s always the ones who are militant about their homophobia that turn out to be closet cases.

I’m kind of a fat-ass (5’11" 235 lbs.) with the 'betes, so I also sleep with a fan. I find the fan isn’t quite enough, so I try to keep the temp in the appartment below 70°F (66-68°F ideally). I like to read before bed to get myself “out of my own head”, preferabbly something interesting but not too interesting like Neitzsche, Oliver Sachs, David Graeber.

Well I didn’t until now.

“Impressive. Most impressive.”

Fuck Reddit, 'cuz I’m over here now. (in the best Diceman voice I can muster)

Portia De Rossi

It’s easier for religious people to believe in original sin than to accept that one day they’re going to die and they won’t get to meet Space Santa.

If you do not pay us the IRS, we will put you under the rest.

I think Ragnar the Red was kind of a pig, so really just don’t be a pig.

Not “crazy” per se, but west of the Mississippi, cities are set up on a grid, whereas eastern cities look like their planning was established by throwing a plate of spaghetti at a wall.

By now, if you still have an HP printer, you deserve what you get. Fuck HP in the ass with a big rubber dick.

I just watched that movie three days ago, had to get some everything bagels to celebrate.

The Steele Dossier debunked the whole Russian bot thing. Assange proved that that was some shit Killary pulled out of her twat because her plan to run against an orange gameshow clown backfired. If you still watch CNN, MSNBC or Fox to find out what’s going on in the world, then you are still just a brainwashed drone.

Just being obnoxious isn’t a crime, but that’s not enough of a reason to get a ding. I’ve seen way worse comments to others and to myself from assholes on reddit who never got banned. “fOr ThE sAkE oF tHe FeDiVeRse, I dO dEcLaIr…” seriously with this shit? This place is already turning into Reddit. Apparently trolling isn’t boring for you yet, huh?

i got booted from Reddit for saying “fuck Ukraine” in respose to some idiot praising a Van Gogh painting for “having the colors of the Ukraine flag”. It was my third strike on Reddit. After explaining to the moderator of that particular sub that I was just irritated at the idea of politics creeping into art apreciation (and the fact that the painting in question was painted 100 years before Ukraine was a country), they recinded my strike, but too late apparently- still banned. I get a cute little red hammer emoji next to my name when I try to log on, which I haven’t bothered trying to do for 8 or 9 months now.

Do you know how much garlic bread I can make for $5? A bunch, and fucking good too!