Thank you. I don’t have notes handy, but my deadlift was around 360 lbs. for 8-12 when I was last training it directly. A few health-related issues have sidelined my lifting for a couple months (post-cancer life sucks sometimes), but I am cleared to get back into the gym next week!

My legs are where I really shine, with my calculated one rep max for the sled press up in the mid 800s and working sets in the 600s. That is my lift where people stop and look twice.

It does not appear that you are really listening to others to do much as commenting pithy things, and I am not sure if you have some specific reason for this or if you are just picking fights.

But let’s still break this down. Literally no one here is talking about celebrating morbid obesity. That is pretty much a straw man at this point.

Morbidly obese people should be able to look in the mirror and think to themselves, “I look good today!” They should be allowed to go out without worry that someone will make fun of them. They should be able to go to the doctor and be heard instead of the doctor assuming every health problem is only caused by obesity.

If you disagree with the above statements, please be very clear as to why. Everybody deserves quality medical care from their physician. Everybody deserves to not hate themselves. Everybody deserves to not be kicked for their appearance.

No one is saying, “Woo-hoo! Try to be so fat it harms your health!” I would suggest you read up on the science of weight loss and why so many little are obese these days. There is not universal consensus, but there is general agreement that the deck is highly stacked against many people, and extra body fat is not a simple condition to deal with in many circumstances.

People should try to lead the healthiest lifestyle they are reasonably able. No one is stating otherwise.

I think that you have internalized a version of body positivity that lies on the most extreme end of what is meant by that phrase. Body positivity - be comfortable with who you are and do not put down on others due to their body.

The odds are that I am significantly fatter than you. The odds also favor that I am significantly stronger than you, even if you lift weights. I can also probably walk all day much farther than you can.

Would it be healthier if I lose body fat? Absolutely. Have I tried for 20 years to do that? Yes. I am not ignorant regarding nutrition. I am not lazy. I am not overall lacking willpower. I am fat but otherwise healthy.

Body positively means that my doctor treats my body fat as what it is - one aspect of my overall health. He does not assume that every problem I have is because I am fat, even though changing that would improve some aspects of my health.

Body positively also means that I am not going to hide when I go to the beach. I am going to go shirtless and enjoy myself. If you do not find me sexually attractive, that is fine. If you are going to shame or mock me for my body fat, then you are an asshole. If I catch wind of you mocking me, I will quietly estimate how many times your bodyweight I will deadlift on Monday. If you choose to mock the scars that cover parts of my body from extreme, life-saving surgery, I may feel the need to firmly educate you on exactly what sort of asshole you are.

Body positively often conjures the image of a morbidly obese girl on OnlyFans who lets people pay to watch her binge and intentionally get fatter while she says being purposefully inactive is just as healthy as hitting the gym. The real versions of that person are extremely rare, but their radicalism, vociferous nature, and platform make their voices much louder in comparison. Their argument is also easy to find flaw with and mock, so they get used as if they are a typical example of body positivity.

You are right in that the woman I describe above needs help and is not behaving in a safe or healthy way. I also understand why you might think that is the norm. She is not, though, and I would encourage you to look deeper at the meaning of the “movement.”

The “you” above is generic and based on broad assumptions. You, the reader, might be stronger than me and have way more endurance than me. You also might be fatter than I am. The odds are very good that you are also not an asshole. My point was to call out variances from the norm as convenient examples, of which I have plenty in both directions.

That is interesting. I loved the original in my youth, but now that I am older, a cancer survivor, and with a lifetime of challenge and too many dead loved ones, Cash’s version speaks to me on a different level.

I’m not yucking your yum one bit. I am happy that you have a song that speaks to you.

Yeah, it is. The injections suck, and the hormone shifts are awful. One of my friends is a general practitioner in the Navy, and every time he prescribes any fertility hormone, he also gives a referral for couples counseling. “I know you believe you won’t need it, and you might be right, but in my experience by the time you realize you need it, you need it RIGHT NOW.” The IVF hormones are around then the ones he can prescribe, and it was a wild ride.

Of course I don’t know your SIL, but please extend my best to her and her family at some point. As one stranger on the Internet who knows roughly the path she walked, I am very happy it went well for her in the end.

Also, real talk, you sound like a great in-law to her for being so aware of everything. Kudos to you.

For those who are truly into etiquette, we understand that it is a gift we give to others and hope they will choose to return in kind. It is actually extremely poor etiquette to point out the missteps of others. The superior you unfortunately had to deal with was an asshole. Being an asshole is pretty much never appropriate.

I stand to greet others because it shows them respect and maybe because I am a little old fashioned. I take off my hat in private spaces for the same reason. I also know enough etiquette to know that modern hat customs have been modified because they are more of a fashion piece now than a protective garment. Hats have different rules when their primary purpose is to be an accessory.

Do you know what I do when someone gets etiquette “wrong?” Nothing! It is rude to police others. The most someone should do is to gently steer others away from a faux pas if it would likely cause them embarrassment or future difficulty.

I think what I really want to write is that I am sorry etiquette has been used as a social bludgeon against you. Good etiquette should feel seamless and unobtrusive. Formality can be lovely, and instead it has been a bad experience for you. That sucks.

Edit to add: I am really talking about classic English/American etiquette. I am in no place to comment on things like the etiquette in many Asian nations. I know some of the customs, but little of the nuance that goes into them.

We happened to live in the U.S. state with the best reproductive rights laws and have the best health insurer for IVF in that state. It did cost thousands of dollars, but it was still 4 digits overall. We were getting by on a single income at the time, but it was really the health insurance and state laws that made it doable.

We needed two cycles because the first failed completely, but the second cycle (ICSI for those who care) produced multiple embryos. They only implanted one at a time, so my second kid is a freezer baby.

But yeah, my wife has a true, diagnosed needle phobia and did it anyway. She is a God damn trooper.

Nope! My wife was enjoying a chemically-induced nap in one room when my kids were conceived. I was in another room with broken DVDs and suspiciously easy to clean chairs. The kids were conceived in a third room by a lab worker and incredibly complex equipment.

The traditional way is much more fun. Try that first.

This is where AI could legit change the world for the better in the future. Use fewer pesticides, fungicides, and herbicides as the problems can be fixed mechanically on a highly localized level.

This could even help fix problems with invasive species - imagine a drone fleet that could kill kudzu just as it erupts from the soil.

I would mildly disagree. Knowing your numbers for a lift can help you estimate where you should be on related lifts. It can also help you very roughly gauge your progress compared to others. The mechanical advantage, friction, and other physical aspects of any given machine play a huge role for sure, but one can broadly make comparisons.

That is some ingenuity! Smart move.

I am lucky that I have been working with a trainer for a couple years, and she knows this info for every piece of equipment in my gym. It will get harder as I taper off working with her.

First, I am sorry for everyone just dismissing this question. There are many valid reasons for wanting to know the unloaded weight of machines, including just being curious. If you want to change up your routine or compare results between machines, you absolutely want this info.

Some machines will have this information in fine print on the main instruction panel or some small label on the machine. You have to search for it.

The most reliable way to know would be to ask the staff at your gym. A gym-employed trainer would be a great resource if they are off without a client. At my gym, I just put in a request that they label all of the machines with this info. It seems like a big quality of life increase for the cost of some printer paper and packing tape.

Keep lifting heavy and pushing for the details you want. I know on my leg press sled, I absolutely want credit for the 105 lb. sled in addition to the plates I put on it.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Well, I’m glad that our contract is only for [a limited period of time].”

It was not a vote against the whole shift, but instead a comment on the volatility of this space. The tech and the associated market is changing so fast that there are no real experts, proven business models, or established long term use cases. Everyone is experimenting, and nothing is set in stone. This change means the dust is not yet settling.

“We keep thinking like OpenAI is a company that has a clue what it is doing because they have this amazing product that is getting used everywhere in business. In reality, they are a startup, and startups are going to have startup problems. We cannot treat them or their product like they are established and stable.”

-my wife, who leads work at another company with OpenAI tech

I know the above quote is from someone “unimportant” in the industry, but to me it encapsulates exactly what we have seen from OpenAI in the past couple weeks. She became simultaneously reassured and more worried when Satya Nadella, the highly respected CEO of Microsoft, became directly involved. I wonder what she will think of this development when she wakes up.

You can believe what you want, I guess, but that does not change reality. The company also has a vested interest in marketing your account security. They also lose out when accounts on their system are compromised. It seems a bit ridiculous to say that only one of the two parties who have a vested interest in security here gets to set the rules.

Thank you! I was going to make this exact point. Autocatalytic reactions are assumed with good reason to be a necessary step on the way from non-life chemicals to life, but they are only one step. Carbon is the only element that can form the basis of the huge variety of chemicals needed for the simplest of life to evolve.

When I was an undergrad, I had professors who made completing arguments that live on other planets would not only be carbon-based, but that it likely would closely resemble life on Earth on molecular, microscopic, and macroscopic levels. Survival of the fit certainly depends upon the environment, but it also must comply with chemistry and physics. I am no expert in theoretical xenobiology, but it provides a strong and fact-based counter to the idea that alien life would by default be wildly different from life on Earth.

I am still going strong on Tears of the Kingdom. I love exploring a world I already new with changes and additions. I love having an open world game where I am still mandated to be a good person. I love getting creative with weird things. I love that my oldest kid plays as well and my youngest likes to help me solve puzzles. It has just been a blast for my family.