One of my favorites is:
“Never lie, never tell the whole truth, and never pass up a chance to use a real bathroom.”
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I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won’t.
–Mark Twain
“Anywhere is a bathroom if you are drunk enough.”
-an old roommate
He was fun, but, uh, yeah. He definitely had a drinking problem. Drank on the job, at work, to fall asleep, to relax, when he was nervous, when he was happy. Not sure if he ever put this in to pratice but I wouldn’t doubt it at all.
“Futility is freedom”