From the article:
But for the general public, the implications of the study are simpler. “A microwave is not a pure, pristine place,” Porcar says. It’s also not a pathogenic reservoir to be feared, he says. But he does recommend cleaning your kitchen microwave often — just as often as you would scrub your kitchen surfaces to eliminate potential bacteria.
How does bacteria live through being microwaved? I would think they’d boil from the inside out.
If you’re reading this I am in dire straights, possibly dead. I woke up this morning to find my microwave is bursting with tardigrades. I have left it cooking nonstop for 13 consecutive days and they’ve only gotten more pissed off. I’ve welded their every possible exit from the machine shut, but I fear they are beginning to chew their way out. If you’re reading this, tell the government they need to drone strike my location immediately, possibly nuke it. The world is not prepared for what is inside my microwave.
Y’all ever see that one episode of Cowboy Bebop
Who knew lobster could go so wrong?
Hold the nukes it’s just going to piss them off