Linux server admin, MySQL/TSQL database admin, Python programmer, Linux gaming enthusiast and a forever GM.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 8th, 2023

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  • Technically yes, but I don’t mean technology as phones/laptops/tablets/etc. Imho, the biggest factor in social isolation is atomization due to bad urban planning. When everything and anything is only accessible by car, you lose any connection with your local neighbourhood and local stores/cafes/etc.

    In environments where people walk around the neighbourhood, doing small daily shops, going to local businesses and taking mass transit to work/school/restaurants/bars, then you’re much more likely to interact with people rather than driving around in your social isolation-mobile.

    Urban planning can be considered a form of technology, which is why I said technically yes.

    EDIT: Oh, another big factor here is the loss of the third place. It still exists in some places (local pubs in British towns, local coffee shop in Portugal, etc), but in places without a socially normal “hangout spot” that is separated from both home and work/school, it’s much harder to meet acquaintances which may in time become friends.




  • An advantage of funding things via a collective like Nebula as opposed to each individual creator managing their own patrons is that new creators can start making bigger, more expensive projects quicker. Even established creators have this advantage, they can take bigger risks on bigger projects with the safety net of a share of the nebula pie.

    I don’t think a project like The Prince would exist without Nebula, for example.









  • Exactly what I wanted to say. All that talk of “perfection” makes me imagine them snapping and going full psycho because a train was cancelled and they need to book a different one.

    To OP: just stop trying to plan that much. A general plan is good. Just be aware things will change and that’s ok. As long as you two are having a good time, the rest really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.

    If you want a little psychological trick to make the trip more memorable than it otherwise would be, whatever you think is going to be the most impressive, save it for last. Our memories have a very strong recency bias.






  • At every step in the process, it looked to those around me that whatever I was using was going to be used forever. I didn’t set any lofty goals

    This is absolutely the right approach, even if you were planning to quit from the start (not the case with you, but still). “This is my last ever cigarette” just caused me to delay and delay and delay. The only realistic way to do it for me was one craving at a time (“I’m not smoking for the next hour”), then a day at a time. Handling the hours and days was hard, but once you do that the weeks and months take care of themselves.

    Vaping for me was a major misstep. Just caused me to consume more nicotine than when I was smoking.


  • There’s two separate addictions going on with smoking: habit and chemical. What patches, nicotine gum, etc are trying to help people do is tackle them separately.

    This means you can focus on getting out of the habit of lighting up after a coffee, or after a meal, or whatever triggers you had, while delaying the chemical withdrawal which seriously messes with your head until later. Tackling the two seperately is easier for many people.

    With that said, patches don’t work for everyone, and I hope you find the cessation aid (if any) that works for you. Quitting smoking is an absolute bitch.

    For me personally, the most helpful aid was nicotine gum, and then swapping out the nicotine gum for normal gum once I was confident I’d kicked the habit part and could focus on the chemical withdrawal.