I’m thirsty for tritium water. I’m sure it’s not a health thing, but it probably tastes better (more quenching).

And I want them to pay me a dollar in store credit to drink it. I want them to study me for the effects after years (and many many gallons) of having done this, and then I want to get a medal from some nuclear safety commissioner in Japan or something and look stupid when they show a still of my face on the Japanese news programs.

Is that too much to ask? But fine, I’ll just drink my well water that probably just has gasoline in it or something like a normal PFA-blooded American. No I know what you’re thinking, it’s not the same.