I’ve been a DM for many years, and in all that time I’ve had maybe three players read the PHB. I don’t mind explaining the rules, but it would be nice to not have to remind the wizard how spell slots work (again). Is this a common thing for most groups?
I very much agree. I would not have started with D&D if our GM gave me a 300 page book and said I needed to read this before we play.
Now if you’re VERY into the game and want to play at a high level I think it’s entirely fair to look for a group that brings this level of investment. Some other user brought up the analogy to a soccer team.
Ultimately you have to decide whether your focus is playing the best soccer you can or if you just want to kick a ball around with your friends. The former means you’ve got to look for players who take it as serious as you do. The later means you’ve got to make compromises to keep the group engaged.
Neither is inherently more right than the other.