Please don’t ask why I need this.
It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.
It has to be something I can easily find.
EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:
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I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
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I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
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I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
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I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
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Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
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If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.
Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.
It’s not working.
Is this what giving birth feels like?
Help.
I’m looking up at the ceiling, my mouth open in a silent scream of rage and desperation. Cords stand out on my neck as every neuron in my brain wills that stubborn piece of poop to pass through my hole. My phone is in my hand, playing this video on loop. Yet, the fecal brick resists. It is not showing any signs of giving in. However, I am determined to clear myself out before the three-day period starts. I am not giving up.
I gave up. I forced it so hard it almost made me throw up. I’m going to bed.
😂 Legendary status updates!
Sounds like you should just keep eating whatever you’ve been eating, as it seems to be pretty effective at preventing pooping!
Attempt 2 at taking my last shit.
UPDATE: I failed again.
UPDATE: I HAVE OFFICIALLY SHITTEN MY LAST SHIT!
The shitless period has begun.
Day 1 of not shitting started 4 hours ago, but it’s time for the real journey to start. Goodbye my friends. Wish me luck.