I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

  • stephywephy88@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Everything felt wondrous to me after I got out of an abusive marriage bruised but alive. It’s not that I feel more, but the realization that I am able to feel at all amplifies the intensity of my positive feelings. Do you feel like you’re trapped in a rut at all? Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that all the best moments have already past? Sending positive vibes to you!